Avoiding Embarrassments in Europe
Americans have many admirable qualities: honesty and openness, enthusiasm and optimism, warmth and friendliness, kindness and generosity, to name a few. They do however sometimes lack a certain sensitivity and appreciation of other cultures, conduct and customs. Even in Europe, from where much American heritage derives, this lack of awareness is often strikingly apparent.
The intention of this brief guide is to help our North American visitors avoid the worst faux pas and in doing so avoid creating embarrassment to themselves and to others. It has been written from the observation of the many delightful and charming guests we have had the pleasure of receiving at The Coach House over the last 7 years, with some additional useful pointers culled from a variety of other sources.
General Conduct and Behaviour
Respect and modesty are the watchwords here.
- Do dress modestly. In cities and towns try to blend in with the local population. Don't wear shorts, sandals, or clothes more suited to the beach.
- For visits to churches and places of worship wear long trousers or a modest skirt and a top that covers your shoulders and midriff.
- Don't talk too loudly and beware of linguistic differences:
| UK/France | US |
| Drawing Room or "Withdrawing" Room - when there's a drawing room there's normally a separate Dining Room. | (smart) Living Room |
| Flat | Apartment |
| Ground floor, first floor etc. | First floor, second floor etc. |
| Lift | Elevator |
| Tap | Faucet |
| Porter | Concierge |
| Toilet, lavatory, loo | Bathroom, washroom |
| Last but probably most important: when Americans innocently speak of their "fanny" meaning their bottom they are blissfully unaware that in English this word is slang for the female genitalia! |
- In countries where English is not the official language, do learn a few words of the local language and use them. Good morning, good evening and thank you are the most important.
- Don't leave your hotel room or apartment in a mess - this is considered disrespectful to the person whose duty it is to make the room up and looking good for your return. Tidy your belongings, and hang your clothes in the closets. Don't leave towels on beds and furniture - especially when wet, hang them in the bathroom. Be aware that in Europe towels may not be changed daily, Europeans tend to be environmentally conscious.
Eating, Drinking and Table Manners
In Europe table manners are universally important, irrespective of social class, and in a restaurant your actions are on view to the world. Try to remember these points.
- If you are helping yourself do use the serving utensils - not your own cutlery. Use the spoon and fork together, not the fork alone as a spear.
- Do try to use knife (in your right hand) and fork (in your left) together, cutting (not tearing) only what you need for the next mouthful, and lifting it up to your mouth with the fork (still in the left hand) prongs down rather than up. Europeans regard the practice of cutting up everything before laying the knife down and transferring the fork to the right hand to ferry food to the mouth at best as uncouth and at worst barbaric!
- Don't use your fingers except for bread, toast, sandwiches and fresh fruit.
- Don't put used/dirty cutlery on a clean table cloth or on the table; it lives on a plate.
- Don't order coke or similar with lunch or dinner in a gourmet restaurant, wine and / or water are expected to be drunk.
- Use your table napkin often, wipe your mouth before and after drinking - try to leave no mark on the glass or cup.
- Don't expect the bill in a restaurant to come automatically, you need to ask for it when you are ready to pay and leave.
If all this sounds daunting don't worry, with a some thought and a little practice it will become second nature! And if you feel there's something missing from this list do let us know -
e-mail feedback
This was included in one of our periodic news letters and a press release in August 2007 and prompted an interesting reaction. Some felt the article demeaning and insulting, others - actually more - applauded the plain speaking and said it echoed their feelings. Here is a selection of comments and correspondence.
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